I'm going nuts here at the Acapella Home For The Aged. Let's face it; this is a depressing place, from the out-of-tune "wimoweh" doorbell to the support group for never-was rock stars, which I moderate, to the "tuning pills" freely dispensed by the white-coated staff. And then there's that creepy, Stalinesque mural of Deke Sharon's head with the omnicient eyes that follow you around the room.
Some days I pass the time watching Carmen Sandiego reruns with Elliott Kerman and Barry Carl, muttering about the methodical de-Jewification of Rockapella, but usually I just sit in my rocker, stare at my pitchpipe and quietly weep.
So what does the undisputed "Father of Modern Acapella" do to keep himself from slipping further into insanity? I turn to Judaism. Well, not exactly; but immersing myself in the burgeoning world of Jewish acapella is the closest I've come to my ancestral tribesfolk since my poorly catered disco-era bar mitzvah with the lone accordian player. How did I get involved? Kol Zimra, a fresh-faced Jewish acapella group, hired me to vocal arrange and produce an album of Hebrew prayers. "No problem," I thought, until I discovered that arranging vocal music in a foreign language is a minefield of biblical (old Testament) proportions.
