Stuff happens. Anyone who performs is going to have stuff happen to them, or they are going to do stuff. Embarrassing stuff. It happens. According to the laws of the Universe, it can't NOT happen.
Mistaking an audience member for the wrong gender (I DO THIS ALL THE TIME). Wardrobe malfunctions. Tech troubles. Freudian slips. Moments that turn you from cool, collected calm and confidence to a pile of self-conscious oatmeal. When your heart drops into your intestines and you start looking for a rock to hide under.
I want to know: what are the most embarrassing things that have ever happened to you on stage?
Here's one of mine (trust me, there are plenty), jogged out of my repressed memory by a recent interview:
2001, singing the first big concert with a group called "Blue." Let's add levity to the show, we think! So we devise a brilliant topical sketch based around content from The Producers, then very hot on Broadway. We work out a lengthy and convoluted set-up ending with someone saying, "How can you not see?"
I reply: "Nazi?!?!?!" and I break into a rendition of "Springtime for Hitler" complete with goose stepping and Nazi salute. Loud, proud, paying homage to the satire of the original comedy. Hilarious reference to the great Mel Brooks musical, right?
Problem is, no one in the audience had any idea what I was making reference to, so it appeared to them that I had just exploded into a neo-Nazi celebratory song and dance number, glorifying Hitler.
Terrible, terrible idea. The memory still crushes my kidneys. Blerg.
So now, your turn! Spill the beans. Bare your soul. Give us the dirt. The juicier, the better. Tell us your moments, experiences that can be entered into the Stage Embarrassment Hall of Fame.
Don't worry, we'll be laughing with you, not at you.