Altmania - Sean Altman 
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Written by Sean Altman
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Wednesday, 11 July 2007 |
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Just when it seems as if The GrooveBarbers' legacy is destined to be our uncanny ability to pitch nasal anithistamines to seasonal allergy sufferers, we bust a pioneering high brow move with "doowOpera": a glorious hybrid of doowop and opera. As of this writing, the concert YouTube clip of "O Mio Babbino Caro" (from Puccini's opera Gianni Schicci), featuring us four aging warriors and the lovely soprano diva Inna Dukach (a.k.a. my bride), has garnered 20,000 hits in its first couple of weeks (doowopera.com points to the video). Call me a crazy pollyanna, but I think this could be The GrooveBarbers' "D*ck In A Box": a viral career-maker that will make us the universal object of female desire, male admiration and modern acapella scorn. In the past two weeks I've fielded dozens of requests for the vocal arrangement from opera directors and chorus masters from around the world. This is especially baffling, as I was heretofore unaware that the "internet" had gone international.  Be first to comment this article |  Add as favorites (45) |  Quote this article on your site | Views: 1691
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Written by Sean Altman
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Friday, 10 November 2006 |
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In the alternate acapella universe in which we legends frolic, sans instruments and clothing, I was spawned by one of the greatest soul singers of all time: Jerry Lawson.
You heard me right.
 Former Persuasions lead singer Jerry Lawson, an African-American Baptist from Brooklyn, sired me, a Caucasian Jew from the Bronx — at least that's the delicious rumor that he and I have been spreading. It is a myth born of mutual admiration and the failing memory of advanced age (both of ours). The supposed mother's identity is unknown, which leads to speculation of an immaculate acapella conception: no instruments and no coitus. This scenario is plausible, as acapella never leads to sex, damnit. On the occasion of the imminent release of Jerry’s first acapella album since leaving The Persuasions — recorded with Talk of The Town and featuring a guest appearance by his son Sean Altman — I’ve been pondering my treasured history with Father Jerry.
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Last Updated ( Friday, 10 November 2006 )
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Written by Sean Altman
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Sunday, 26 March 2006 |
 Acapella got you down, what with all those blasted vocal harmonies and synchronized gestures? Do you miss the sound of thunderous drums, crunchy guitars, vintage keyboards, brash horns and deep, thumping bass that’ll make your ass blush? Does political correctness make you want to embark on a murderous rampage or at least give an old lady a wedgie? Are you Jewish or have you ever enjoyed an episode of The Daily Show, Curb Your Enthusiasm, an Adam Sandler CD or a performance of The Producers? Do you agree that repugnant ethnic stereotypes somehow become funny when embraced by the very group they slander?
"Sean Altman and Rob Tannenbaum might be giants of Jewish joke-pop, but you can hear some Beatles in their risqué borscht-belting, not to mention a reverence for tradition." -NEW YORK TIMES
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Last Updated ( Saturday, 01 April 2006 )
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Written by Sean Altman
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Monday, 12 December 2005 |
 I'm not one to toot my own horn; I'm more wont to honk it,
repeatedly, with peeved cabbie gusto, and then simply lean on it until
the cops arrive. It is with this same restraint that I trumpet the
arrival of the first all-acapella CD of my post-Rockapella career: The
GrooveBarbers' sparkling holiday offering "Glory."
The GrooveBarbers are three former Rockapellas — Charlie Evett, Steve
Keyes and me — and vocal guru Kevin Weist, the throbbing brains behind
the acapella cockroaches in the MTV film "Joe's Apartment." Back in
1986, "The GrooveBarbers" was one of the band names that we founding
fathers, in our infinite fanciness, considered and then discarded in
favor of "Rockapella." What the hell were we thinking?
Duh-uh...The GrooveBarbers is like such a way better name that I hafta
barf and text everyone I know and use gazillions of emoticons to
express what I'm unable to, like, y'know, verbalize with my thumbs!
The other rejected names (I s*** you not) were The SoulBarbers, The
Brandy You're A Fine Girls, and Piss Swordfight (what we bored boys do
when there's only one toilet. Now you know).Be first to comment this article | Add as favorites (45) | Quote this article on your site | Views: 2111 |
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Last Updated ( Monday, 19 December 2005 )
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Written by Sean Altman
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Wednesday, 28 September 2005 |
 Sean Altman at a house concert in Ohio
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Last Updated ( Friday, 04 November 2005 )
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Written by Sean Altman
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Wednesday, 27 July 2005 |
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Becoming a whale-man in the wee pond of a cappella was the easy part — I was born with the strange ability to discern Art Garfunkel's voice from Paul Simon's with 99% accuracy. My favorite childhood day-dream involved Art's sudden, unexplained death and Paul's panicked call to my house, begging me to join him on tour. Art lost his hair, but not his life, damnit.
Once I discovered that not everybody could harmonize with every conceivable melody, it became clear to me that this was a skill that might very possibly get me laid, or at least noticed, by members of the prettier sex. I then began a process that has served me well throughout my life: I surrounded myself with exceptionally capable musicians. This diverse collection of uberfolks has uniformly been attracted to my height, my cheekbones, my potty mouth and my genetically blessed ear. Be first to comment this article | Add as favorites (38) | Quote this article on your site | Views: 2019 |
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Last Updated ( Wednesday, 08 November 2006 )
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